A Time of Renewal

I have never been a lover of the dark, winter months. I don't really like this about myself, but it's how I am wired.  My sister isn't affected as I am, I am always envious of that....her steadiness, her evenness. Happy in the sunshine, happy when it's grey.   I often wonder what makes one predisposed to the lethargy I feel with the short and cold days of winter.  Several years ago, a guy I was dating gave me a book, "The Mysteries of The Dark Moon."  I still haven't read the entire book (as is the case with many books for me).  I  open it and read bits and pieces.  It was a book that made me look at myself with more compassion, and to embrace the darkness, literally and figuratively.  In the dark, rich soil of the earth, a seed is planted, so much energy, so much life inside the tiny seed.  It needs that time, the darkness....to sprout in the spring.  

I began "trying" to look at myself and my own life in a similar way.  In the dark months, I tend to isolate more, go within myself, I write a lot, sleep too much, eat a little more than I should.  I decided to use this time as a period of healing and introspection, instead of facing it with the dread that I had become all too familiar with.  Let me say right here, I have not done this with any sort of perfection, but I have practiced being a bit more gentle with myself.  I have dedicated time and energy to my yoga practice, more time reflecting on the things I would like to change about me and how to create the life I crave.  Over time, the winter months aren't feeling like something to "get through", but rather a time to embrace and reflect.  A time to let that energy go inward to grow something beautiful.  I have been more mindful about my choices, using the darkness as a source of energy.

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And now....spring approaches...it is close.  I hear the birds singing in the early hours before dawn.  Time for new growth, new life.  As I was walking my dog this morning,  I observed the tiny crocus blooming, scattered throughout my neighbor's yard.  I see the life.  I see the little buds on my beautiful (soon to be fragrant) lilac bushes.  I get excited.  The days are getting longer.   

My energy is stirring, ready to embrace what is next.  I am open.    I am living the life I crave.